Quote of the Month: Our parents have actually set-up experiences that on some deep level, have taught us both coping mechanisms and truly virtuous skills. Both can be ‘alchemized’…turned into gems of growth. ~Judy
Happy New Years! What a year to move my healing into the world in a bigger way. A new website (which my webdesigner and I just redid another Home page presentation), a FB business page (The Flow of Healing), using my own quote on this Blog (something I have never done), the upcoming launching of The Moving Beyond Project, and my birthday month. Anyone else a Capricorn?
Picking the highest and best exact times to do things, is so important. Do you realize that each of us picked the exact time to incarnate along with the parents or guardians who would teach us the lessons we wanted to learn? Keep breathing!
What We Learned from Choosing Our Parents
I realize it’s hard to comprehend (for some of us) that we would have chosen our parents or lack of parents. But if you look at what this has taught us, spiritual commitments will have an opportunity to be completed.
Our parents’ ways to teach us about life might have been a bit eschewed (ok, maybe alot). None-the-less, if we took the baton and really moved it forward, we indeed learned important lessons. We had to take new actions that were hopefully in alignment with our true nature. We gained virtues with the healing. This actually helps elevate our frequencies as part of our soul growth.
If we can recognize and release what our parents or guardians have taught us through their obligations towards us on a karmic level, we can free ourselves from the turmoil of emotions and attachments about them. That’s not such a bad deal…definitely not always so simple or easy though.
Exploring the Obligations Our Lineages Have Towards Us
Vianna (founder of ThetaHealing® Technique) has emphasized in the past that it’s a very important time to make a commitment to ourselves to really explore all the obligations that our parents (or guardians) taught us. And expand this commitment to our ancestors as well. They have actually set-up experiences that on some deep level, have taught us both coping mechanisms and truly virtuous skills.
Both can be ‘alchemized’…turned into gems of growth. The Soul doesn’t care how it learns. It just wants to use what is available to evolve itself. I personally think it’s easier, in being in this 3rd Plane reality, to create more alive, healthy and easier pathways for building virtuous skills and relationships.
And as we release our parents from their obligations to teach us these lessons (including our souls), we don’t need for them to even teach us the virtuous ones if we already know them. These are integrated skills and are easily accessible in any situation.
If we spend at least ½ hr per week working on clearing the issues that get in our way, it would transform the issues that block us and how people treat us. If we saw our parents as actors on a stage, we could ask ourselves what role were they playing in how they affected our life, both in caring, beneficial ways and in difficult ways.
We can do a “turn around” and see what we’ve gained from these experiences, what qualities we’ve developed that actually supported us. Then we can release our parents from teaching us whatever it was. This is all done through Creator’s teachings.
Perhaps the coping mechanism was co-dependency, and what we learned was to be true to our own needs. Releasing our parents from teaching us to be aware of our true needs, and that we can do this without them but through All-That-Is, will create an amazing transformation. This is the process of releasing resentment, anger and hatred.
We owe ourselves the opportunity to live without the charges of the past, or it’s hard to create the frequency or energy needed for being present now and in the future. It’s difficult to manifest because so much of the neuro-connections are taken up with these past hurts.
My Release from my Parents
So back in 2011, I wrote out over 20 things that my parents taught me both in developing virtuous skills and in the creation of difficult coping mechanisms. I proceeded to release them of these obligations. I also released myself from teaching them things.
I’ve had a great relationship with my mother for the last 20 years. Of course, this takes into account that she has been dead for over 45 years, of which 26 years after, I had continued to hate her. As many of you who have followed me before know, I went through a profound forgiveness process in 1997 around her, and it changed my life. [podcast at https://theflowofhealing.com/moving-beyond/]
I understood why things were the way they were between us, and the charge I had, dissipated completely. All I could feel was the deep love and appreciation for her.
The Releases are Forgiveness
People often have the spiritual misconception that forgiveness needs to be in person. This is also a prime example of not needing to have a person alive or in front of you to go through complete forgiveness.
There are also hidden issues in families that don’t necessarily get revealed all at once within our own psyches. Truths often happen like onion peels in how they unravel. If we can feel the experience into consciousness, we can heal it. It’s important to be patient with ourselves as well as knowing that forgiveness bypassing can occur.
Forgiveness bypassing is when people say they forgive the issue or members in the family when they don’t really know what fully happened or processed the feelings. They then continue to feel taken advantage of or fall back into old patterns around their families. The name of the game is awareness, discharge and self-empowerment that is supported by care, self-care, and compassion.
I decided to do my list about my mother anyways, because I wanted to clear out all the nukes and crannies in what she taught me even though I felt just love and tenderness towards her. There were only four difficult things left in her obligations to me…to teach me what insanity is, to stop any kind of overindulgence, to stop feeling like an identified patient, and what suffering and helplessness is in a family. These were very simple to release once identified.
When I wrote out the 25 things that were from a caring skill set, I was truly amazed. I could really see some of the wonderful qualities that I have now that came from her. And I released her from teaching me those attributes because I already possessed them. I didn’t need her support or have it attached to her. It was really a process of reclamation of more of me.
With my father, there was much more work. The end result, though, was that I ended up writing him a letter sharing all the wonderful things he did for me. I let him know that I released him from all obligations around them as well as the difficult coping mechanisms I developed due to what occurred at the time.
I gave gratitude to him for playing the role of father in all that I learned. I then told him our connection was completely over in physical form until he transitioned, and to please not attempt to contact me again. I did this with care, love and with a great amount of clarity in being aware that there might be familial financial ramifications. Inner freedom will always outweigh financial ties for me.
I let him know that I will always love him, and I would be the first one to help him connect with Creator’s love and light when he passed.
I mailed it, and it was done. I felt a huge release and a deep internal shift.
That letter was mailed 8 years ago. He is still alive. I still feel complete and have no need for further connection on this Plane. Everything I needed to express was truly said and healed for me then.
Forgiveness doesn’t have to be done in-person
Forgiveness doesn’t mean I need to choice connection. It is for me in releasing my attachment to his actions. It means that I feel free to move forward unencumbered by another’s choices, actions, and perceptions of my truths, with my own energy solid within myself. Again, this does not need to be done in person to feel liberated!
What You Can Do
Consider making your list of your parental issues, the 3 R’s (resentment, regret, rejection), anger, offended by, hatred, minimized by, and take the time to clear these. If you test the beliefs by adding in the statement at the beginning, ‘on any level’, which would include the genetics, history and soul, the process goes deeper, and you end up feeling lighter and freer.
If you need support, consider a session to help you along or if this topic interests you, consider a workshop to support you to do it on yourself or with the help of friends you meet in class or the ThetaHealing® worldwide network.
With care and blessings for a beautiful year of growth,
I extracted possible ‘theme’ beliefs from the story. Energy test yourself for them, practice clearing through digging if applicable, check if they are your ancestors’ beliefs, and use Creator’s teachings including the ones below if they fit.
- My parents are obligated to teach me about life.
- ‘Choosing’ my parents was the worst decision I ever made.
- I’m angry at myself for choosing my parents.
- I hate my mother… I hate my father.
- Forgiveness needs to be in person.
- I feel empowered around my parents.
- I am worthy of releasing another’s choices, actions and perceptions of my truth to be solid in myself.
Helpful Creator’s teachings/downloads
I know what it feels like to, how to, when to, that it’s possible, that I can, I do (or I am/am able to be):
- to release my parents and my ancestors from the obligations they taught me
- to forgive my parents in the ways they taught me life lessons
- to re-claim myself from the energy of my parents
- to feel empowered around my parents
- to complete forgiveness without having to be in-person to liberate myself.