Quote of the month: When you’re little, a lot of times you don’t know you’re being abused. What happens is the children grow up…I remember being 24-25 yrs. old before I realized I grew up in a really abusive home. ~Vianna Stibal, (founder of ThetaHealing® Technique, July ’11 webcast)
Dissociative coping mechanisms
In continuing with May’s theme about ThetaHealing® digging issues which involve repressed/implicit memories and trauma that can arise, there are situations where different levels of dissociative coping mechanisms, even with C-PTS (complex post traumatic stress), can occur in clients. The person doesn’t even recognize that this is what is happening for them, and sometimes, neither does the practitioner or instructor.
Last year, someone at training started screaming in panic across the entire training class I was attending. I was in a diad with another practitioner at the other end of the hall. The person was on the floor with a crowd gathering around. I was thinking whether I needed to be there, but heard within to stay where I was.
My diad partner didn’t even understand what was happening, but I knew it was an abreaction (flipping into a past trauma experience…Post Traumatic Experience).
I had a student years ago who made strange facial grimaces and shook violently in being dug on. It scared the other students. They thought she was possessed. I knew what was going on and worked with Creator to stabilize her…it was a combination of PTS and switching of personalities.
It’s not uncommon for instructors and practitioners to be unable to recognize that someone is presenting childhood trauma issues or its patterns; and thus there are misinterpretations of what is occurring.
Wanting Things to Change Quickly
The other situation in using the ‘when/what happened’ questions mentioned in May’s blog, is how the point of origin can be approached with those who have childhood abuse. https://theflowofhealing.com/2019/05/01/childhood-trauma-thetahealing-belief-origin/ Many clients or students come to ThetaHealing® Technique wanting things to change quickly. I’m not going to say this doesn’t happen as mentioned in part 1, but it’s much rarer due to the many other issues surrounding the point of origin. When there are many memories and different ‘frozen’ aspects existing from the dissociated points of origin, things need to be taken a step at a time.
‘Plunging into’ a suppressed or repressed wound/memory is not how to be present for the client’s needs. I’ve got to admit that I’m guilty of this in the past. This is how I have processed my own inner work for years though I didn’t consider it ‘plunging into’. Somehow I knew what capacity I had and even trained my therapists years ago how to work with me. But I’m not ‘everyone’.
Clients are Unique
Clients are unique, and that’s how we view them through All-That-IS. It can take quite awhile to build capacity and train the client in the skills necessary to reorient to the present when they become triggered depending on the level of abuse and dissociation.
I have worked with those who have done years of really deep work on their issues, but then didn’t either ‘see’ their particular trauma piece, or didn’t clear the beliefs from already knowing about it. In those situations, the issues completely resolved and cleared in one session. Literally, though, I could count these kinds of occurrences on my right hand.
I do not have any expectations of the session except staying tight with Creator, being as present as possible in my connection and making sure the client is as grounded and stabilized as possible by the end. It’s not a race against time, but the quality of presence combined with Creator-of-All. Healing happens. I trust this process. That’s what counts for me.
These are several of the factors that show up together when a person clears really quickly from childhood abuse:
- The person has been working on their issues deeply around the peripheral of abuse for several years in therapy or deep processes.
- The abuse wasn’t repeated
- One incident
- The person was very psychic as a child and could see the intention of the person abusing them
- There is an awareness and capacity to feel safe to drop into the point of origin
- There are no major dissociation factors
- The level of abuse will not involve physical penetration though the body might have registered the act in that way
- There was a safe adult, person or support for the child after the incident
- There was no shaming or minimizing if reported to parent or guardian.
Patterns will emerge again and again when there are deeper repressed memories, patterns, and abuse beliefs to deal with.
Adverse Childhood Effects & The Capacity to Go Deeper
One of the essential components of starting the healing journey is trauma education–the client and practitioner need to learn about ACEs (Adverse Childhood Effects https://coprofdevcenter.org/the-long-term-effects-of-adverse-childhood-experiences), self care, boundaries, emotional and nervous system regulation, having a support system available and/or integrated, so there is the emotional or psychological capacity to go deeper. In some situations, team support from other kinds of healing practitioners, body/energy workers or therapists is recommended.
This means that if the beliefs and patterns around trauma are not dealt with carefully, the client’s body and mind can go into overwhelm. When the inner truths arise too quickly, this overload can and does activate the autonomic nervous system alert responses.
There are many ramifications in ‘de-structuring’ a person’s life too quickly. The feelings of a child’s emotional experience are intense to be felt as an adult. The client can experience extremely stressful and terrifying somatic and emotional responses—disorientation, inability to walk, paralyzed, vomiting, dizziness, inability to breath, or seizures. These are abreactive PTS reactions.
New ‘thought’ structures need to be accepted to rebuild a new alignment through All-That-Is. Grounded witnessing is absolutely necessary.
Creator’s teachings to help overload
The client’s ability to accept these healthy ‘thought’ structures is essential. In the ThetaHealing® Technique, we use Creator’s teachings to not just help de-structure the patterns of childhood abuse, but to re-structure to stop any overload as much as possible. This embeds the divine programs–psychological concepts and virtues. Grounded witnessing in a Theta wave brainstate is also necessary for the practitioner. I have clients work with the connection and bonding with All-That IS in connection with their Inner child/ren first before any memories/points of origin come up. I want to know their capacity level.
And this connection is really about understanding, love, and safety with a frozen aspect(s) that was the client at a younger age…a soul fragment, in a sense, who has their own awareness, feelings and truth. It’s a profound and touching experience when the connection moves into a deeper bond of trust and love.
I have Creator teach them the difference between the past and present, the safety of the present moment, to experience the All-That-Is/Unconditional Love in the present moment.
Reorienting to the present allows for a calming of the nervous system. It helps bring the client out of the fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses. That doesn’t mean it takes away the feelings that might emerge. Healing from childhood abuse is a grieving process.
In listening to how a client was abused, practitioners and/or instructors can end up with secondary PTS or feeling flat (which is an affect response). Learning how to be compassionate, detached, empathetic and understanding in the face of severe cruelty and horrific inhumanity, is part of the virtues gained in holding sacred space.
The more the instructor or practitioner clears their own issues and stays tight in their connection with Creator, secondary PTS won’t happen. It’s a real practice. Clear your energy off after your sessions and see that tingly light between clients.
If you notice you’re triggered, write it down or place it on a ‘mental shelf’. Reconnect with Creator later, perhaps after work as part of your divine personal time to clear the triggers. Let your feelings express out of you. It’s ok to feel outraged.
Even though I have listened to and have witnessed extreme depths of human depravity for years, I can be found to have emotions arise in listening to my clients. It’s real empathy.
This doesn’t mean that I, as the practitioner, fall apart during the session (which would be a trigger or emotional dysregulation). There is nothing wrong if a practitioner’s tears show in hearing a client’s story. It’s human. It’s caring. It’s genuine. It can actually support the progress of the session.
Clients who have been abused, often have beliefs that crying is weak and will cause more abuse. Having feelings is not always easy to access when you think how a child is abused. The child can be repeatedly taught to keep the situation under control, to be still, keep things a secret, shamed and ridiculed, and threatened to be silent through fear of punishment, more abuse, or death as the repercussions.
My clients learn about the modeling of emotions, experiencing feelings as navigational tools that don’t need to be hidden or made into an excuse to not be able to express themselves. They are also taught social skills of emotional regulation if they are unaware of how they act when they are relating with others. It’s all sacred.
And just to say, empathy can present itself in different ways. It takes strength to allow both a gentle showing of our feelings in hearing another and being present to the client’s experience to help them through their process. There is nothing weak about the virtues that are built or used, like courage, strength, fortitude, and perseverance.
It’s important to be really present to one’s own emotional experiences when we work on ourselves or with another’s support, especially if seen in the light of releasing old, difficult emotions. Connecting the feelings with the memory takes a great deal of inner work. This is an advanced healing skill for many.
Calm the Nervous system
Taking off the trauma imprints, engram banks and any entities or waywards, can help calm the nervous system. I also have been witnessing through Creator, what I call “Vagal Nerve Regulation’.
As the Moving Beyond book is revised, and the new information and education around working with childhood abuse/trauma within the ThetaHealing® community is shared, we are going to see deeper and more compassionate expressions of healing on many levels.
We live in a world that is full of trauma and abuse, from how we develop in the womb and birthed to the many wars that rage. To stay in denial, will not heal it and creates more of the same unhealthy relationships, financial issues, and lack of well being and self esteem.
But to awaken to the reality of the events, the knowing that it can be healed and that we can participate in this healing, is life altering– a paradigm shift. It is truly my mission to participate in this change.
With commitment, care and love,
Helpful Creator’s teachings/downloads
I know what it feels like to, how to, when to, that it’s possible, safe to, worthy/deserving/good enough, that I can, I do (or I am/am able to be):
- recognize and be aware of trauma symptoms
- reorient a trauma client to the present
- live without abreaction
- to feel stabilized and grounded in clearing abuse
- to feel stabilized and grounded in helping another clear abuse
- the difference between the past and present
- the safety of the present moment
- to experience the All-That-Is/Unconditional Love in the present moment
- implement Trauma education
- experience emotions as a navigational tool
Have you received your free gift? It comes with the ‘Sign up’ for the Newsletter at www.theflowofhealing.com